September 21, 2021

EPISODE 04 – “Developing Real Friends” with KB Newton

Finding a community of tried and true friends can be hard these days. But the key is being intentional in the conversations you have with each other to form lasting and healthy friendships. Kristen “KB” Newton reflects on her own experiences and struggles of making friends throughout her life due to “constant change and movement” and how that all changed when she realized the value of being vulnerable.
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Show Notes

 

Guest Bio:

Kristen “KB” Newton is the creator and founder of HEARTConvos, an organization that helps people build authentic relationships through having hard conversations. She was previously the DJ for both the Indiana Pacers and Indiana Fever sports teams. She’s married to her husband, Mike, and they have a daughter.

Summary of Show: 

Finding real friendships can be difficult and experiencing true community can feel impossible. So what does it look like to find a true friend? To be one? What does it mean to be truly known and accepted by another person? On this episode of Where Ya From?, Kristen “KB” Newton shares her story of struggling through relationships, and how that struggle led to founding HEARTConvos—an organization that helps people build authentic relationships through having hard conversations.

 

Notes and Quotes: 

  • “If I could do it differently, I wouldn’t have had that hard conversation over the phone, and would have had the conversation in a way that also considered the other person.” 
  • “We see in Scripture that Jesus comes and He dies and He resurrects so that we can be free, not just free from sin but free to live. I don’t feel like I was [truly] living in those years.”
  • “Vulnerability and the formula for vulnerability is the exact same formula for being egregiously hurt or being unconditionally accepted. And the definition of vulnerability, the root word is ‘vulner,’ I think, and it means to wound. So you’re not really practicing vulnerability unless you’re doing something that gives another person the ability to wound you.”
  • “I’ve got to take the time to figure out what’s important to the people around me and how we can coexist well together.”
  • There’s a whole cancel culture that if you do anything or say anything that I don’t agree with that offends me, I’m just going to cut you off and move on to the next person. 
  • We were all created for deep meaningful connections, deep meaningful relationships.
  • Relationships take work and time and grace and truth.
  • HEART is an acronym for Honest, Elephant-size, Authentic, Real, Transparent conversations.
  • “Sometimes we harbor things. We create a catalog of wrongs that someone has had against us or offenses that we’ve kind of stacked up in our mind but never really had conversation about.”
  • “I strongly believe that if people knew how to be great friends, they would be great boyfriends or girlfriends, they’d be great spouses, they’d be great coworkers, they’d show up well in other relationship dynamics. One of the reasons I think most people aren’t staying together in the context of marriage is because their friendship hasn’t been cultivated.”
  • “I believe that Jesus champions friendships more than any other relationship. His whole ministry is centered around His friendship with 12 dudes.”
  • “I am an advocate for boundaries. I’m an advocate for people having expectations and verbalizing those expectations. Most people are frustrated in their relationships because they haven’t actually said out loud what they expect from the other person.”
  • “I believe the church has almost made an idol out of being married.”

 

Links Mentioned In Show: 

            Verses Mentioned in Show:  

            • Doubting Thomas: John 20:24-29
            • Peter’s Denial: Mark 14:53-72
            • “Greater love has no one than this…” John 15:13
            • “I no longer call you slaves…” John 15:15
            • “Love God and love your neighbor…” Matthew 22:36-40
            • Jesus died so we could be free. Galatians 5:1
            • “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light…” Matthew 11:30
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